AgNess marched staunchly down Third Avenue. While wearing heels of two completely different heights was a fabuloso idea at home, on the street it made her feel like an unstable elk.

• What is your current state of mind?
  Capitalistic
• What is your greatest fear?
  A financial depression. You know, where no one can get their money from the bank and you have to wait in a line just for soup. But that's like genocide — it doesn't really happen anymore.
• What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
  My ambition — I can never just relax.
• What is the trait you most deplore in others?
  I don't love being challenged.
• Which living person do you most admire?
  Rape police. All the squads of them.
• Which living person do you most despise?
  Those who get in the way of justice.
  And Sienna Miller. She's devious.
• On what occasion do you lie?
  When I'm in a cab and someone calls and asks "are you in a cab?" I usually say I'm riding in the subway or a helicopter or something like that.
• What or who is the greatest love of your life?
  Julian Parnassus DeFrank. Husband first, pug second. He's a really a combination husband/son. A practice space for my future.
• When and where were you happiest?
  Capri. Enjoying a lobster on the beach with my father. Knowing I truly deserved a vacation.
• Which talent would you most like to have?
  Acumen.
• If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
  I need a great deal of sleep, so projects take slightly longer than they might if I could run on empty. I mean, it makes sense that I can't work that fast — I'm only awake for about 20 hours a week. But investors aren't always understanding.
• What do you consider your greatest achievement?
  I signed a nondisclosure agreement that prevents me from sharing that with you. But I'll give you a hint: it was a deal that I closed.
• If you were to die and come back as a person or thing, what do you think it would it be?
  The Odeon.
• What is your favorite occupation?
  C.E.O.
• Who are your favorite writers?
  Business writers, the ones who write important business documents. I also like Owen Gleiberman from Entertainment Weekly. His film reviews are funny and informative after someone reads them to me I feel like I don't even need to see the movie anymore.
• Who is your favorite hero of fiction?
  Detective Olivia Benson
• Who are your heroes in real life?
  All the women putting cracks in the glass elevator.
• What are your favorite names?
  Julian, Astor, Oprah
• What is your greatest regret?
  I bought some shares in Mischa Barton's headband company that didn't really pay off.
• How would you like to die?
  Surrounded by pugs and man-servants.
• What is your motto?
  "Buy it! Sell it! Trade it!"

Swann repeatedly took hits from SparkleBone the OracleHorse. She laid it upon a small red velvetine pillow and passed it like a plate of hors d'oeurves. Swann sometimes wondered if people knew that most of her performances involved her getting extremely toasted, preferably to the point of immobility, and then rolling around on the floor repeating a single word. But they would never know! She would be sure of that.

• What is your current state of mind?
  Buzzworthy.
• What is your greatest fear?
  To be found.
• What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
  A willingness to socialize.
• What is the trait you most deplore in others?
  A stringent need to conform.
• Which living person do you most admire??
  Anna Piaggi, the original punk grandmother!
• Which living person do you most despise?
  Carrot Top. I refuse to get into it. And Larry Gagosian. For making the world a cold and sterile place.
• On what occasion do you lie?
  I'll never tellll!
• What or who is the greatest love of your life?
  Kevin McAllister.
• When and where were you happiest?
  Whatever Proust said.
• Which talent would you most like to have?
  Invisibility cloak access.
• If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
  Having to answer this preposterous question.
• What do you consider your greatest achievement?
  Allen Street M15 bus stop. Last week.
• If you were to die and come back as a person or thing, what do you think it would it be?
  Oscar Wilde infusion tea bags. Very expensive.
• What is your favorite occupation?
  The pursuit of indifference.
• Who are your favorite writers?
  Surgeon General. Specifically his ongoing piece, Warning.
• Who is your favorite hero of fiction?
  Pippilotta Delicatessa Windowshade Longstocking
• Who are your heroes in real life?
  Dike Blair
• What are your favorite names?
  Smiley, Sojourner and Marc Anthony.
• What is your greatest regret?
  Never picking up Cantonese or Hangul. While I was able to obtain school credit for interning at various manicure shops around NYC (most notably Angie Pretty Nail in the Fulton Mall), the Altaic dialect never mingled well with my solemn tongue.
• How would you like to die?
  Executed by Mongoloids atop the highest mountain in the lost city of Machu Picchu, decorated in sinister Betsey Johnson spandex; brandishing a will to survive.
• What is your motto?
  Coming soon.

Oona walked into Matthew Marks. She stuck up her nose and sniffed at the air. She recognized three distinct traces of perfume. At galleries, Oona preferred to sidle along the skirting board, getting very, VERY close. She had been restrained numerous times. Especially at the Guggenheim. She remembered what Patti Smith had said about DeKooning, how she needed to wear mittens around his paintings, otherwise she would run up and touch them, feel them. And in Oona's own case... lick them. But that had gotten her literally removed from Kiki's opening. Oh, for shame!

• What is your current state of mind?
  Determined. And also sleepy.
• What is your greatest fear?
  My selflessness — it often keeps me from satisfying my own needs.
• What is the trait you most deplore in others?
  Athletic wear.
• Which living person do you most admire? I regard Kate Winslet very unfavorably. She just thinks she's so smart.
• Which living person do you most despise?
  Hortense Sinclair-DeRosa. We were the best of friends, but tenth grade changed her. I miss her sometimes though — she lived on Little West 12th Street and she had an indoor pool.
• On what occasion do you lie?
  When AgNess asks "do you know what I mean?" I usually say "yes."
• What or who is the greatest love of your life?
  Who: Jake Pheasant.
  What: Jake Pheasant's work.
• When and where were you happiest?
  Summer 2006. Sag Harbor. Eating a Stouffer's French bread pizza.
• Which talent would you most like to have?
  Hula. Or a green thumb.
• WIf you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
  I wish I didn't stand out so much. I'd love to know what it's like to just exist.
• What do you consider your greatest achievement?
  Finishing the first third of my novel.
• If you were to die and come back as a person or thing, what do you think it would it be?
  A Margiela boot.
• What is your favorite occupation?
  Writer. Aesthete.
• Who are your favorite writers?
  Tama Janowitz, Jay McInerny, Linda Yablonsky, Sylvia Brown Master Psychic
• Who is your favorite hero of fiction?
  Edie Sedgwick.
• Who are your heroes in real life?
  Blair Waldorf and Serena Van Der Woodson — they're very uptown and in that way their work doesn't interest me. But they're total PR machines. And they've really put their friendship before everything else.
• What are your favorite names?
  For boys: Sebastian, Bertrand, Otto. For girls: Stella, Lola, Mildred.
• What is your greatest regret?
  I gave away a Sigerson Morrison high-heeled flip-flop that I thought could never work again. Then, in the same week, I found out about irony and got invited on a trip to St. Bart's. I feel awful about having let those go.
• How would you like to die?
  Young. Of old age.
• What is your motto?
  "Do you!"